Random Quotes

1.What’s that? Uh-huh… is that so? Hmmmm… I see… Well F*** you Mr. Bear! You speak lies….LIES!!!
2.Ok, what did you break? What’s your excuse? And how much will it cost me?
3.Cocaine is god’s way of saying your making too much money.
4.All peace and no war make Bush a dull boy.
5.Just when you think you’ve hit bottom, someone throws you a shovel.
6.After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
7.Fate is just what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over.
8.If I’m not back in 5 minutes…wait longer.
9.Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.
10.Life may have no meaning…or worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
11.I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous- everyone hasn’t met me yet.
12.Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
13.I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.
14.Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
15.Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
16.I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
17.Everyone makes mistakes; the trick is making them when no one’s around.
18.Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
19.The most exiting word in science is not ‘eureka’ (I found it) but ‘that’s funny…’
20.I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
21.War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
22.Always forgive you enemies, nothing annoys them more.
23.People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
24.Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.
25.Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse behind.
26.Death is life's way of telling you - you're fired. Suicide is your way of telling life you quit.
27.You're not an alcoholic unless you go to the meetings.
28.I've given up trying to escape from reality; they always find me anyway.
29.If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
30.Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger, please!
31.Roses are red, violets are blue, and I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!
32.Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them.
33."Suicide Hotline...pleases hold."
34.After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'
35.Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. Suicide is your was of telling life you quit.
36.I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."
37.Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing an idiot. (if u don’t get that one, contact me and ill explain it)
38.Shove it, I stopped caring before you opened you mouth.
39.Why so we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?
40.A friend is someone who knows you’re not perfect, but treats you as if you were.
41.Never regret anything that made you smile.
42.Who do you go to when the only one who can stop your crying, is the one causing all the pain?
43.It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
44.No matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else there to take its place.
45.If all my friends jumped off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.
46.Your life may seem perfect to everyone, but no one can see how you're dying inside.
47.I'd rather be disliked for who I am, than like for who I am not.
48.In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
49.Intelligence is not always knowing the answer, but always asking the question.